Domestic violence is a serious issue, but it’s also a topic that has been prone to exaggeration and misuse in legal and social contexts. Allegations can and often do destroy lives, particularly when the evidence is scant and the consequences severe. The Nature of Domestic Violence Domestic violence doesn’t always manifest as physical abuse; verbal insults and threats can be equally hurtful. However, much of this behavior stems from learned patterns. If someone grows up in a household where violence or hostility was normalized, they may inadvertently adopt those behaviors. That said, it’s crucial to distinguish between genuine abuse and conflicts that are part of normal relational dynamics. Words can indeed hurt, but labeling every argument or harsh exchange as “domestic violence” waters down the gravity of real abuse. Media Influence and Legal Overreach The push to investigate and enforce domestic violence laws gained traction in the 1980s, fueled by media campaigns. These ...

Phoenix, AZ— It all began in the 1980s. I clearly remember groups of butch lesbians dressed like Hells Angels gang members demonstrating on Jefferson Street, demanding stronger domestic violence laws. The push at the time was to create tougher court restraining orders and to punish cowardly men who physically and emotionally abused women. These same groups also sought tax-supported shelters for battered women. Those advocating for stricter laws ultimately succeeded, but things didn’t unfold as planned. As a licensed private investigator and court process server, I found myself serving these orders on lesbians who were allegedly abusing each other. Obtaining restraining orders that eject a person from their own home and confiscate firearms requires only a single, unsupported allegation. Although there is a hearing later, the accused doesn’t get a public defender since these cases are considered civil matters, meaning due process is minimal at best. I also discovered that the batt...

Chicago, IL —Before 1969 divorce was no simple process in most jurisdictions.  The laws were designed to make divorce difficult with the idea that couples could solve their differences and continue to responsibly raise their children. There had to be specific grounds and the most popular was “extreme cruelty”.  There was abandonment and adultery, however they were much more difficult to prove.  The petitioner had to prove that the marriage had not only failed but was dangerous! Without what we’d today call terroristic threats, a divorce would not be granted. The lawyers would all tell their clients, “Don’t worry it’s only a formality, just sign here or no divorce.” If you go to the court clerk’s office and pull random case files they’re all carbon copies of each other. “The Respondent has repeatedly pulled a handgun on Petitioner threatening to kill her”  was written right at the top of nearly every petition! The respondent in most cases also...