Groping allegations as the last Hail Mary in a political race.

  

Let’s Talk About “Grope”: A Hands-On Guide to the World’s Most Awkward Word (Especially When Running for political Office)

Welcome to the world of grope, a word with more layers than an overstuffed burrito. Today, I’m here to help you unpack all the ways we (awkwardly) stumble into situations where this term is oddly accurate. Let’s dive in, definition style, and embrace the art of grope— the innocent, the mental, and the definitely illegal.

Ah, the classic move: the courting grope. In the history of humanity’s clumsiest flirtations, this maneuver has somehow survived every social evolution.

Men, with their fearless approach to “testing the waters,” might see a grope as the ultimate dare in the courting process — a bold attempt to break the touch barrier, sometimes without realizing that barriers exist for a reason. Women, on the other hand, are generally not hardwired for such tactics. Instead, they’ve mastered subtleties like eye contact, laughter, and even conversation. But some men? They go straight for the grope, figuring it’s the fast track to a connection, only to find it’s more like the express lane to a swift exit. The simple truth of the matter is that none of us would be here unless our fathers started the party with a grope.

Ah, yes, the infamous courting grope: a romantic gesture as old as time, performed almost exclusively by men who have somehow confused boldness with just… bad decision-making. Picture it — somewhere in the male mind, a little voice says, “This is it! She’ll find it charming!” And so, with the bravery of a knight charging into battle (but less armor and more cologne), he goes for it.

Women, meanwhile, have this thing called tact. They’ll play the eye contact game, they’ll laugh a little too long at jokes, they’ll even toss out a casual arm touch — anything to show interest without making it weird. But some men? They skip these subtle maneuvers and head straight for the grope, as if it’s a shortcut to love rather than the express lane to a restraining order.

It’s as if they think the courtship game is just one step: Step one, grope; step two… happily ever after? Meanwhile, women everywhere are left to wonder: Was that a… signal? Or do you just not understand personal space? It’s a mystery as old as the hills — and just as likely to leave everyone involved groaning.

Isn’t it interesting that all of the women who have complained that Donald Trump groped them are Democrats?  That must be a real coincidence.