Smile Officer, You’re On Candid Camera!

A police officer in Florida has not made his best career move. He let his guard down and seemed not to notice those video surveillance cameras while “helping” a lady look for her purse.

This reminds me of a story before DNA was used as a method to determine ownership of bodily fluids left at various places.

A Chicago cop was accused of having sex with a woman in the back seat of his patrol car. IAD was called and began their investigation. They seized the back seat of the officer’s car and sent it to the crime lab to determine what if anything was left on the seat that would substantiate the complaint’s claims.

The crime lab came back with proof that a certain substance was left on the seat was in fact sperm! The officer’s career seemed over for sure.

Never underestimate the ability of a sharp lawyer! The officer’s lawyer obtained a Subpoena Duces Tecum from the Police Board and got possession of a dozen back seats of patrol cars in the officer’s district. They were sent to another lab for analysis and everyone tested positive for sperm. Politicians and police bosses were shocked at the thought that back seat sex was so commonplace for their officers.

The glib lawyer offered up a simple and clear explanation for the results. Police cars are used everyday to transport hard working prostitutes. As these hapless women sit in the back seat gravity does its thing and the donations pile up on the seats.

That Chicago police officer was cleared and eventually he went on to retire and collect his pension.

I don’t dare want to think about what’s in this officer’s future.