Bailout!

Washington, DC—Our Congress and President George Bush would never leave Wall Street crooks high and dry! They came through for their pals while putting their hands deep in our pockets.

In America you had a right under free enterprise to make investment gambles and lose your money. Bad companies were suposed to be allowed to go under so more reliable companies could prosper. Not anymore! Now the government will guarantee every crappy investment you could possibly make.

This is a variation of Mel Brooks idea explored in his film and play, The Producers where a couple of crooked buffoons try to make the world’s worst play with intentions of overselling ownership and getting rich. Now companies can count on being rewarded for failures and mismanagement.

What about ordinary gamblers who are bad at math and never win? They deserve full protection from the taxpayers too!

I was recently talking with a friend about the possibility of being homeless sleeping by the railroad track because of a destroyed economy. My friend offered up the idea of having outdoor meals of Jackrabbit stew may be in our future.

I can only wonder how long the American experiment can hold out now that free enterprise is dead?

An Update: 9/29 1:00 PM My report about the death of free enterprise may have been greatly exaggerated since the “sure thing” bailout failed in Congress. Maybe there is hope after all! Stay tuned!